Christmas Spirit

It has been a great Christmas season. The Monday after Thanksgiving our Christmas tree was up, decorations out, Christmas candle scents burning. We had Christmas music playing everywhere we went, all day long, in the house, in the car. We've enjoyed Christmas parties, Christmas band concerts, Christmas stories read as a family and in church, receiving Christmas cards and Christmas goodies from family, friends and neighbors, Daria playing piano on Christmas day in sacrament at church, and we've enjoyed delivering our own Christmas goodies (homemade kolache's compliments of Ken.)

We had a super sweet dose of the Christmas spirit that I've been dying to write about but dared not too for fear of spoiling the Christmas surprise. First I have to relate three backstories to help you understand the magnitude of something cool that happened in our home.

Backstory 1: Let me start by saying that the biggest challenge Ken and I have with parenting right now is the level and consistency that our kids fight with each other. I think that is our only complaint. I've tried more ways to tackle this than I care to admit, and have read more parenting books than I've wanted to, all to no avail. It's like some twisted form of sibling rivalry that makes us feel like we are the only parents who've ever dealt with this although we know it plays out in millions of other homes with children. Besides wanting our children to learn healthy mature ways of handling conflict, we of course hope that they can learn to love each other which seems almost impossible at times.

Backstory 2: By far the biggest challenge Daria has had this year is the very real pressure of feeling like the only pre-teen who does NOT own a cell phone, iPod, iPad or any other coveted techno gadget that a kid can own. This subject has been discussed almost on an exhausting daily basis ..... actually more like complaints from Daria and discussion from "we the parents."

Backstory 3: Four years ago we started a family tradition where the kids must make something for each other for Christmas. The first year Dustin made Daria some bookends, the next a jewelry box, then a Holy Ghost box (there's a story behind that). Daria first made Dustin a t-shirt that said "Number 1 Brother," then for the past two years she sewed him some pajama bottoms, which she planned on doing this year as well because he looks forward to getting a new pair.

                

handmade presents of Christmas' past

Back to the Christmas spirit. In early November as the kids began planning their annual homemade Christmas gift, Dustin came to me and asked, "Mom, can you help me find ways to earn money because I want to buy Daria an iPod touch?"

I had to pause because our tradition is that they "make" something for each other, which requires time and sacrifice and a lot of thought. At the same time I realized if you have a 9 year old who selflessly wants to earn money to purchase something for their sibling it's probably a pretty good  time to capitalize on that moment.

I said, "Well, that sounds like a good idea Dustin, you realize that an iPod touch costs about $197.00?" (at this point I tried to think of options quickly, such as paying half , but I waited to see what he had to say.)

Dustin said, "I know, she really wants one and I want to buy it for her."

So there it was, underneath all of the fighting he still cared enough about his sister to get something he knew she really wanted. The deal was set, we would help him find odd jobs, and he would do the work, and earn the whole thing.

I am humbled and proud to say he stuck with it and earned every single cent. I mean really, I do not think for a moment at 9 or 10 years old I would have ever thought about earning money for a gift for my siblings especially not $200.00. He worked for three full days at Grandpa H's house,  burning, grinding corn, pulling down old shingles, wood, and rusted poles down from an old shed, and feeding the cows. He's mowed lawns, cleaned garages, organized junk drawers for a friend of mine, and cleaned and organized items for me. Only a few times did he question his goal. Once, when he told me he wasn't sure if he wanted to buy her the iPod because he feared that she would always be on the iPod and wouldn't play Lego's with him anymore. Big concerns for a almost 10 year old. This actually made me realize that everything was really about his sister, he either wants to make her happy or play with her. I wished she could understand that. The second time was when he had just earned over a hundred dollars and was tabulating his tithing. By this point he realized how hard money was to earn. He complained that this was too hard, he didn't feel like he would be able to earn it all, and since it was so hard he realized he might want the iPod for himself. We discussed commitment and follow through, which in the end he did. He was so excited for Christmas day to come. Daria's gift would be the last to be opened. I encouraged him to write a little note to accompany the iPod. He explained that he worked hard for this and wanted her to enjoy it but hoped she would still take the time to play with him. After reading that and opening the gift I thought she was going to cry. She was really moved by it. Dustin was pleased with her excitement, and Ken and I enjoyed a peaceful moment with the kids and realization that Dustin probably had shared more of the Christmas Spirit than all of us combined.

Ken used this very same grinder when he was a boy. His dad had purchased it used. They just don't make things to last like they used to.

Dustin workin' hard



Maybe it's hard to believe they will actually be close and love each other as adults because we are just in the thick of things right now, but this Christmas gave me a glimpse that maybe, just maybe, things will turn out alright. If anything Dustin will always remember the lessons he learned through hard work and sacrifice and Daria will always remember what her brother did for her. Since then Daria has mentioned two other friends who got an iPod touch for Christmas, "Yes," I said, "but I'll bet their siblings didn't work for it." We both smiled.

 

Dustin's new jammie bottoms

A rare photo of a hug between brother and sister